Slow....Ahead...

It sounds weird when I say it, but I'm feeling recharged this morning after a nice 8 mile run.  I was pretty tired after mile 7, but I made it home with my pinky toe rubbing hard against the bottom of my shoe.  Ouch!  Yes, only 8 miles from a girl who is used to running 10+ miles on the weekend.  Such is life.

I had been feeling so tired and worn out all week.  Today, unlike most weekends, we don't have anything planned.  Nothing's on the calendar and that's ok with me today.  I feel like I've been rushing around here and there all week long and today, I just want/need to take a breather.  That doesn't mean I just want to sit around and do nothing.  It simply means I would like to not be watching the clock every single minute thinking about what I'm going to be doing or what I have to do.  I'm going to enjoy the day with each minute that passes and just be in the moment.  I don't know what came over me during my run.  Perhaps something cathartic happened.  I don't know.  I just know I was to just be present in the moment.  I absolutely know that I have tons to do.  Things I need to organize, laundry I need to do, but it'll be there for me to do when I'm ready.  I have no plan today.  I'm going to enjoy being with my hubby and daughter.  Oh, except for my Herbal Organics one hour bee facial this evening, I'm looking forward to that.  I may even fall asleep since I woke up at the butt crack of dawn.

Enjoy your moments this weekend!  Life is short!

Source: Uploaded by user via Angela on Pinterest

The kitchen has been my friend

Last week and this week have been all about eating at home.  For one, we are trying to save some money and two, just trying to be healthy.  So I'm not even sure I would call myself a good cook.  Hubby tells me otherwise...I just never really thought I could cook very well.  Most people think it's easier to cook for 2 or more people.  For me, it was easiest for me to just cook for myself.  I'm simple.  Give me some veggies and a little protein, I don't even have to have rice or carbs and I'm ok.  Now with three to our family and each of us with our own unique set of taste buds, sometimes I find feeding this family can be a bit challenging.  I feel like I've been doing ok for the last two weeks though.  

Tonight I just spent the last four hours in the kitchen cooking dinner for the fam bam tonight and then starting right back up again to cook dinner for tomorrow night.  Then of course there is the cleaning up part from the aftermath.  With 5lbs of ribs in the slow cooker, we decided to ask the in laws and nephews over to come help us with the meal tomorrow.  I'm trying out this recipe from Nom Nom Paleo.  

SLOW COOKER KOREAN GRASS FED SHORT RIBS

I hope they turn out ok.  There have been times where I've tried what seems to be an easy recipe, but still managed to botch it up somehow.  

Now that I've had a chance to sit down and kind of decompress, I'm really feeling the tiredness set in.  I need to get more than the 5 hours of sleep I got last night.

I'm going to get in a few minutes of P90x's shoulders and arms and then I'm calling it a night.

Another new beginning.

It's the first day of another "adjustment" in our lives.  7 weeks ago, I went back to work after almost 3 years of a combo of working at home and not working at all.  That in itself was a huge and bumpy adjustment.

Today, my baby girl starts preschool.  I've been hearing and reading from a lot of other parents that it took about a month for their child to adjust to the preschool life.  I'm hoping the road ahead won't be too bumpy.  It's a bittersweet day.  I love the idea that she will be growing, learning, making new friends, but she's growing up...seems all too fast.  I wish I could keep her small always.

Sparkle for the day

  

What I'm wearing today - T-shirt: Jcrew, Necklace: Jcrew, Skinny Jeans: Paige Premium Denim, Flats: Target

Trying to keep it homemade

This would be my 6th week of being a working mommy again. I've been trying my best to keep a sense of normalcy around our neck of the woods. One of the things that I'm trying to keep consistent is eating healthy. So I have been making the extra effort to make my lunch as well as my daughter's lunches daily.

In my stainless steel "U-Konserve" lunchbox today :  (Sorry I was hungry and already took a bit out of my wrap)

Organic marinade tofu, raw cheddar cheese and spinach wrapped in a organic wheat and corn tortilla & strawberries. My daughter received pretty much the same in her lunchbox as what I have, but a little different variation as she got yogurt with strawberries and some added kale chips. :)

I rushed to make my lunch this AM as I kept snoozing my alarm and got up later than usual.







I miss being a stay at home mommy. The idea would be me as a work at home mommy.

My life's constant

Source: Uploaded by user via Antoinette on Pinterest

Source: gedrux.blogspot.com via Ashley on Pinterest

I was reminded this weekend about one of the reasons why I know he/hubby is one of the best things in my life.

Ever since I've been with him(for about 10 years now), my weight has been steady/constant. Does that sound silly? Why is that even important? Well because before him and through all the tumultuous relationships and happenings in life preceding, I was all over the board - physically and mentally. I would try all sorts of things to try to be the weight I thought I should be and all I ended up with was a number on the scale that was up and down and all over the place and just not really healthy - even though that's what (I thought) I was striving to be. I also think I didn't quite have a strong sense of self love and sometimes would turn to food for comfort (aka stress eating).

Yes, sometimes we can still drive each other bananas and I'm sure we will for years to come, but in the midst of it all, he keeps me grounded and makes me want to be the best person that I can be...for myself, for him and for our daughter. <3

Me against myself

So it's been awhile since I last blogged.  I haven't been quite feeling like myself lately and I can't quite put my finger on what it is.  I know what I'm feeling, but I can't figure out why it's affecting me like this and why now.  Some people say being unemployed was the best thing that could've happened to them.  I was ok with it initially, but now, I'm beginning to feel a bit lost in my life.  I can't seem to focus on what my next step is.  Somehow I've made myself too worried, scared, inadequate and almost immobile.  This is not normal for me.  I am typically the happy go getter who knows what she wants and does whatever she needs to to get it.  I almost feel like I need more ME time, alone and away from it all to either find some inspiration, strength and/clarity. 
Aside from feeling down in the dumps, the Napa marathon is right away the corner - this weekend!  Big plus, the weather should be lovely!  Despite the way I've been feeling, I'm really looking forward to this weekend - the run, the little getaway, good food and good friends/family.  If you were to ask me if I felt ready and I had too much time to think about my answer, I would probably say I didn't feel that ready.  I've done the best I could with training as much as I could handle and I've tried to mentally prepare myself for what is to come, but really, I'm just trying not to think about it too much.  I'm running the Napa marathon with my cousin and we are trying to remind ourselves, as well as each other that we're just doing this for fun.  Right, 26.2 miles for fun?!  Ok, that doesn't sound normal to most people I know.

I'm trying to get my mind right this week even though it's been a challenge.  I'm trying my best not to stress out too much, but I'm not sure it's working.  I've had a bad headache since last Friday that keeps creeping its way back and so much tension in my neck and shoulders that I simply haven't been able to stretch away.  At this very moment, I'm sitting in front of my laptop with a heat pad around my neck and shoulders trying to warm away the tension.  I did the 53 minutes of P90X's X stretch today which helped temporarily and now, at the end of the night the tension has come back.  I'm trying to get more sleep, keep hydrated and rest as well.  Tapering always seems to be the hardest on me mentally because I start to play mind games with myself.  I find myself doubting whether I'm prepared enough - physically and mentally.  I find myself wanting to do more, but then holding myself back because I'm also telling myself that I need to hold back and rest my legs.  This will be my 3rd marathon, but the last marathon I ran was in 2006.  It's been awhile.  I hope my body doesn't fail me now.

One of the many things that I need to do to get ready for the Napa marathon/weekend is to pick out my race outfit.  I truly believe that if you look look good, you feel good.  And yes, they say that if you still look cute after your workout, well you just didn't workout hard enough, but to me, that doesn't mean that your outfit can't be cute.  I think it's going to be shorts, one of my Nike sports bras and some long sleeve shirt.  As you can tell, I'm not quite prepared yet, but I will be.  What I would really like is to be able to run like I did in Honolulu back in 2006 (pre-baby) with just a sports bra.  I feel more self concious (post-baby) about my stomach even though I've been working out like a fiend for the last year or so.  I am my own worst critic.

Honolulu Marathon 2006

When the weather was warm, I was really into running skirts.  I was looking through the Athleta catalog that I received in the mail yesterday and noticed there were some new, cute additions.  Here are just a few notable mentions from browsing today:

 

 Swagger skort

 Any sport skort

 Lululemon Pace Setter Skirt

I really want a cute patterned running skirt, but I haven't been able to find what I'm envisioning yet.  Anyway, time to catch some zzz's and get ready for another day closer to race day.  

Healthy deals

TGIF Right?!?

To reward yourself for a great week, perhaps some splurges are in orders?

Beauty:
Spirit Beauty Lounge - Happy Free Shipping Friday.  US Orders of just $30 ship FREE this Friday only with code and method: FSF2012!

All things beautiful and natural! Love this place!

Reads:
Great deal for 2 years!!
$7 for Two Years of Fitness Magazine or $10 for One Year of Yoga Journal

Sparkle always catches my eye

Sometimes I simply cannot resist the cute things out there for little girls.  Here are some of our sparkly new buys this week.  These are actually from Target.  I only went in there needing to pick up some double stick tape.  I always walk out of there with more than I actually needed!  LOL.

Minnie Mouse t-shirt and Hello Kitty hairclips

 Hello Kitty fedora

Reorg time!

Every now and then I get these strong urges to switch things up around the house.  When I get that urge, nothing can stop me.  And once the job is done, I feel so much better.  Yesterday I had the urge to reorganize and clean (every inch of) my toddler's room.  Here is the final result.  A before picture would've been nice, but I wasn't focused on taking pictures yesterday.

I see Ghosts...

It finally arrived today!  I couldn't wait to pop open the huge refrigerator sized box from Hautelook.com to reveal my new lovely, elegant new throne...I mean, chair.  I've been pinning over this for a long time and I finally decided to splurge on my very own Victoria Ghost Chair.  It will be paired with my West Elm Narrow leg vanity in our bedroom.  I feel that because it is clear and doesn't have much "bulk" to its look, it will streamline our room a bit.  The last thing that I need is more clutter as I am still working on getting rid of the clutter that is laying around this house.

It's a love hate relationship

The last few days I've been waking up feeling like I've been run over by a truck.  I'm not sure what the cause is.  It's not like I've been partying or anything or working like a madwoman.  I still haven't been very successful in getting up early to workout, but at least I'm still get my workouts in.  I beat myself up in the morning every time I don't manage to get up when I want to.  Ok, so that's mostly everyday!  When I wake up though, I just want to crawl back into to bed this week, but there is no way I can do that with a little adorable two year old counting on me.  Anyway, when I do take some time to workout while my daughter naps, I feel SOOOO much better.  It really is a love hate relationship with working out lately.  Oddly enough it used to just be a love relationship.  Things have changed though.  Life is different.  I can't spend more than an hour working out, no matter how much I want to.  Sigh....

Do you do resolutions?

Hello 2012!

Resolutions...I would almost say they are a bit taboo to me.  It's almost as if when you make them, you know you're going to break them.  There are definitely a handful of things that I'd like to do differently in the coming year, but I don't think I will classify them under "resolutions".  I think I will make them my goals instead and make sure I keep myself accountable somehow.  Perhaps blogging about it will keep myself accountable.  We shall see.

What would I like to do differently this year?  Well, I never like to say that I am on a diet and I don't think this will be a diet, but I would like to eat less sugar, prepare salads for myself more often instead of eating whatever is in sight because I'm in a time crunch, slow down and enjoy each moment, try to be more patient and I guess get a new job would fall under a goal as well.  I know that with each of these goals there has to be a plan that accompanies each to help me get to where I want to go.

Tomorrow or maybe the day after tomorrow I will "clean up the kitchen".  The sugary things are either going into hiding or going in the trash.  When my daughter was younger and just starting on solid foods, I was so good about buying fresh veggies and fruits and making her food fresh just about everyday.  Nowadays, I think I feel so crunched on time that I just try to prepare whatever I can.  I definitely think I still try to keep it as healthy as possible though as I still buy organic and try to make sure she gets her fair share of fruits and veggies in.  Now that the holidays are over, I think the "treats" need to not be such frequent visitors.  Thanks to hubby, I also downloaded and started using this one app on my iPhone called "Lose It!".  I'm not so much trying to lose a ton of weight, but it's been good to jot down daily what I ate and how I worked out and have it all in one place.

How do I be more patient?  That can be a challenging one.  Ever since I was a little girl, I can say that I've never been very good at being patient.  Not until about my 20 somethings can I say I began to try to be a bit more patient.  When I met my husband, I think he taught me to be more patient as well.  Then, when my daughter came into our lives, I think that truly taught me to be even more patient.  Nowadays, as my ever so active two year never stops until she falls asleep, sometimes it is very hard to keep a cool head and my patience in check.  She's starting to test her limits and test me.  Those are definitely the times that I really need to keep my cool.  I think I need to slow down and instead of getting mad right away, when I realize that feeling is coming on, I need to walk away and take a breather and then come back with a cooler head to deal with whatever the situation may be.  I think another thing I need to try to do is get more sleep and try to get my workouts done in the morning so that I'm not so crunched for time and I can already check my "me time" off my to do list for the day.  Perhaps that will make me feel more accomplished mentally and be ready for the rest of the mental challenges that I'll face the rest of the day.

I've tried to be very patient the last few weeks, waiting on one company to get back to me about a job.  Alas, today I heard back from them and I guess it's back to square one for me.  I'm pretty bummed because it really would've been great to go to work for this place.  I'm feeling pretty down in the dumps right now, but that's what I do.  I dwell for a little while and then I'll pick myself back up.